Alpha 2006 Quotes

Lectures:
What's a dominatrix? -Jeannette
They're fun.-Julia

And we're going to talk about how language shapes the story, and makes things beautiful, and if I sound nervous it's because I am. —Andrea

Any comments before I keep rambling? —Andrea

I mean, there's nothing you can do with people who don't know what lightening bugs are. —Timothy Zahn

If you're going to have a lot of blood, it's NOT going to be crimson. — John A.

Only dominatrixes can save the unicorns. -Sarah M.

I’m not sure I know any llamas that are magicians. -John A.

The llamas are in the subtext.-Dora

Hey. I write, I’m not graceful.-Tammy

Characters can gallop around in plate armor, only to return home and enjoy a night of drinking and wenching. -Seth

So.. Let’s say your going to blow stuff up.. -Seth to Tammy

Next time you look in the mirror say, “My eyes looks sparkly today. -Dora

So. Dude. Beer. -Thomas

For instance, if you see a man on the ground in his underwear refusing to eat, you think that’s weird. But when you realize that he thinks he’s Gandhi, suddenly it all makes sense. –Sarah quoting Agatha Christie

No more brushing your hair. It’s confusing me. -DBK

I thought that scratch was some kind of cake mix in America. -Rebekah

Once. A guy ejaculated at the dogs. -Shivaun

Wanting to be a writer and not wanting to be rejected is like wanting to be a boxer and not wanting to get punched. - DBK

"Just remember, you will never fail as badly as Van Gogh." —Dora

Dave: I'll give you a hint. It involves a bikini and a chain.

Moo: And Gandalf's like, 'Yo. Let's go. Dragon.'

DBK: If you meet a cheerleader, they will most likely be a dumb blonde, slut, cliquish, conformist, perky, popular, condescending, two-faced superficial, American female with an eating disorder."
John S: You forgot bitch.
DBK: Yes, but that would be mean.


"He's walling people up in a tomb. That's not good, right? Don't do this at home." Dora

"I don't know about your evil computer, but my evil computer isn't named Evelyn." ~ Dora

"My name stopped being Timothy Zahn and then it became Hugo Award Winning Author Timothy Zahn, and now it's Hugo Award Winning Author of the NY Times Number One Bestseller Return of the Empire Timothy Zahn. It's very difficult to write checks." ~ Timothy Zahn

"It's secretions again." ~ Timothy Zahn

Wen: If you don't know what the little thingy on the whatchamacallit is called, it probably does have a name.

Wen: If you had all that input from Sherlock, it would be this giant neon sign saying, 'LOOK AT THE LASER BAZOOKA!'

John A.: Oh no, my ankles! I am undone!

Toby: Those of you who submit once and sell once, we'll take care of you later. It may involve socks and soaps and beating.

Toby: It took 200 submissions before my first professional sale. It was like it took 200 tries before they said, 'Okay! We give up!'

DBK: Here, we can just make this really easy: I give you my magic writer blessing. You are all good enough to send stuff out, and you can pass it on to other people.

DBK: Yeah, Rebecca, you're young and you have years to get used to the idea that people are going to hate you.

Tammy: If life were that miserable, people would be throwing themselves off of cliffs like lemmings are supposed to and don't.

Dora, on social expectations: I don't know if doctors are the same way, but doctors do... sort of... act doctorly.

Timothy Zahn: Where are we, O Grand Exalted Oracle of All Wisdom?
Ann: It's 'Cookie Lady.'

DBK, on football: What's the difference between a good game and a bad game?
Julia: Suspension!

DBK: Wait, wait, wait. Stained glass window I'm with you on, but elephants?

DBK: Come on! Why are you questioning my Star Wars mojo here?

DBK: She's like, 'I love you!' and he's like, 'Oh.'

Sarah G: What are we doing next?
Diane: Thomas

Tiredness:
Right. You can name your Corvette 'Camel.'-Alena
And then it will have an identity crisis.-Andrea

I never put my wallet in my back pocket. It makes my butt look big. -DBK

Once there was a guy and he blew up three people. And I was the one who found out it was a triangle. -DBK

Hey. Cups of ice water can be damn entertaining. -Sarah M.

Someone: “I think she’s a member of the mafia.”
Shivaun: “I made buttered toast for you guys.”


"All I have to do is pee. This is all I ever have to do." -Moo

John Archer: I'll never look at those lamps the same way again! ...Shit, there's one in MY room.

Julia: You're sexy!
Sarah M.: No, Julia, it's late. It's late and I'm reading about urine.

Sarah G.: Are you ticklish? That would be funny. In an 'I think it would be funny and you would probably kill me' sort of way.

Sarah G.: A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

To Gillian, Arin, and Alena: Okay, your (*points to Gillian*) potential relationship is asleep, and mine just walked out the door, so what the hell are you guys still doing in my room?! ~John Archer

Confluence:
A lot of these questions are really interesting questions, and if you write the book right you never have to answer them. —Mike

The problem with thieves is that they steal things. —Tammy

Zan: It looks like something from Futurama.
Ade: It looks like my dad.

"Happy feel-good Aztecs." —Toby

"We have an hour? I can, like, tell my life story." —DBK

"I can use my fingers... Raise by wolves!" —Wen, on why she was picking up ice with her fingers

"Instead of fat it would be, like, gorgeous person swelling." —DBK

"You're like yarn in human form." —Ade

"I can't knit with you but I love you anyway." —Ade

"I drink more now." —Tammy, on writing in first person journal entries

"'Cause gods are shits like that." —Tammy

"There's bad, really bad, beyond bad, and really suckacious." —Tammy

While we’re waiting for Toby, let’s talk about Toby. -Diane

Thomas: Privacy, please. I'm either picking my nose or blowing my head off, and either way, I don’t want company.

"Privacy, please! I'm either picking my nose or blowing my head off, and either way I don't want company." Thomas

"You have toejam in your eyebrows." ~ Thomas

Alena: Come on. I haven't done anything mean to you in the last five days.
John A: You *slapped* me!
Alena: Only a little.

Alena, to MSW Rebecca: Now you, too, may become a hazardously schmoopy love monkey!


Miscellany:
If everyone jumped off a cliff, I'm sure it would pile up and I'd just land on top of a bunch of people who would be like, "Hey! What are you doing?" -Moo

This is my way of working through my toaster issues. - Thomas

I love dead-meat mothers. They're fun. - Julia

"You're a better woman than I am." —Seth, to Rebekah

Julia: Right now I'm a crazy panda, but usually I'm a happy panda or a sad panda.
Emily: Are you ever a super-panda?


Dave: He's like 'Fight fight fight!' and always wins. And then it's like 'wench wench wench!' and always wins. And you never have to worry he'll get a hang nail.

Moo: Andrea--what is up with you?
Andrea: Ducks?
Moo: That alibi has been used too much.
Andrea: Chickens?


Alena: I poke you with my proverbial rain penis!

Rebecca M: Glitter me with your doodly appendage!

Seth: I don't bite, I have standards.


"People keep coming up to me and asking about my monkey and I have no idea what they're talking about." ~ Dora

"They had cable tv and I was a heathen." Dora

"Very innovative use of bodily fluids." Thomas

"Promote safe sex: eat a cheeseburger." Julia

"The only way to fight a woman is with a hat: grab it and run." Timothy Zahn

The light at the end of the tunnel is probably red.

You don't want my soul. He's dirty and smelly and hasn't been washed in years.

Seth: "I hate to be a cynic, but wearing sharp objects near your head might not be the smartest idea."

Thomas, on Jayne: "You're really a marshmallow inside."

Julia: I hate corn!
Sarah G.: How can you hate corn?
Julia: It's just disgusting! It's tasteless and it gets stuff stuck between your teeth and ugh!
Thomas: So what you're saying is you're a midget tickler?

Julia to Thomas: Honey, honey. Give her your clothes.

Sarah M.: There is insanity in everything he touches, so he has to wash the insanity out of his clothes.

Sarah M.: I'm pretty sure that my nose already has more insanity than his finger.

Andrea to Jillith: Your computer needs to meet Seth's computer. They can trade war stories.

John S.: You've callously abandoned your pen!

Thomas: Well, it was just that you're both wearing black, and the jet black hair.
Julie: No! Her hair is brown!
Jillith: And hers is blue.
Thomas: You know what I mean!

Creepy dinner chatter:
Conversation approaching crush depth. Vent ballast or die. —Seth

Dining Hall:
Sarah G.: I was thinking about tangent lines and circles.
Rebekah: Are you okay?

Rebecca S. : “So you’ll be walking down the street and suddenly you’ll keel over and hair will start going in and out of your arms!”
Julia: “I know a guy like that.”


This is why children grow up to kill their parents. - Tammy

Sarah B.: What are chastity belts made out of?
Sarah G.: Chastity.

Tammy Pierce: Where have gone the schmoopy ones? Arrrg.

Sarah M.: My friends like to go to this pool hall in Manchester where there are these very scary, tough guys wearing lots of chains and muscles...
DBK: They're wearing lots of muscles?
Sarah M.: Yes.
DBK: Where can I get some of those?

Rebecca M., about the dining hall: It smells like a hospital with B.O.

Ann: I want to know where you started, what inspired you?
Timothy Zahn: Bad T.V.

Writing:
Elena, explaining sentient superpowers: Well, have you ever read genie stories? They're on different planes, so the genies can see each other and the human world, but the human world can't see them. So two of these superpowers could pass each other on the street and be like, 'Sup?' but nobody would know.

Elena, to Sarah M.: What's a really useful superpower that you wouldn't think would be useful?
Sarah M.: Being able to tell when someone is referring to you or referring to someone else who has the same name.

Critiques:
Jeanette: It's like she was hungry when she was eating it.

Evil:
If I wanted evil I would drink my brother's blood. - Meg

"I had a little brother. I didn't have to torture a cat." ~Julia

Drama:
Whois Tracking

http://whois.domaintools.com/mikeskramstad.com

Alena On The Phone!:
"My life is like a combination of a porn and a soap opera."
"It's like a porn opera!"

Look in the freezer...no, no, no, BEHIND the monkey!

John A: Your phone conversations are more entertaining than Star Wars.
Alena: That's not hard.


Quote Rankings
NameScore
DBK
16
Julia
11
Thomas
9
Dora
8
Tammy
8
Alena
7
Seth
6
Timothy Zahn
6
Sarah M.
6
John A.
5
Andrea
5
Moo
4
Sarah G.
4
Toby
3
Wen
3
Ade
3
Ann
3
Elena
2
John S.
2
Sarah M
2
Sarah G
2
Shivaun
2
Rebecca M.
2
Rebekah
2
Diane
2
Meg
2
PR Analytics
1
Rebecca S.
1
Jeannette
1
John
1
Jillith
1
Mike
1
Sarah B.
1
Jeanette
1
Emily
1

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