I know what you’re thinking. And you’re right. It is sick the way I, and the rest of America, am treating their divorce as entertainment. But it’s also human nature because we all identify ourselves in either Kate or Jon. People keep calling Kate a bitch and saying she is disrespectful of Jon’s feelings, yet I can easily see myself saying similar things. “Jon you’re breathing too loud.” So maybe he WAS breathing too loud! And that’s annoying. Even not as a mother of eight, I could snap at a husband like that.

The truth, though, is that my newest obsession isn’t so much Jon and Kate themselves, but what it is that caused their love to shatter. They represent every long-term relationship or marriage I’ve know that have fallen apart. Every couple (for the most part) starts off with strong and deeply poetic love for each other. How is it then that some romances don’t work out, even after 3, 5, 10, 20 years? It’s a terrifying thought that you can share such a strong affection for someone, knowing every mole and every scar on his or her skin, devoting years to merging together and becoming a collective force, and still end up apart, heartbroken, and alone. That thought scares me to no end and I worry constantly if in the future I could end up in Kate’s shoes. In fact, I end up wondering about what makes relationships work and fail on pretty much a daily basis.

And that is my true confession.

What I did instead:
- Stalk people I haven’t talked to or seen for years on facebook
- Read celebrity gossip, such as Jon Gosselin’s newest 22-year-old girlfriend

It is now close to 7pm. Um, yeah. I feel pretty shitty about myself/my lack of work ethic.

I’m back!! Italy was, in short, amazing. The rolling hills of Tuscany were almost too idyllic to believe. We stayed at a historical farming community called Spannocchia.

The community is very well organized, tending to three large gardens, several herds of pigs, an educational program for young Americans, and hosting several houses for guests. Upon our arrival, we were greeted with a basket of fresh vegetables from their organic garden and a fresh loaf of bread. The house we stayed at had a fully equipped kitchen and I was thrilled to get the chance to cook with such newly picked ingredients. Fresh garlic is for example surprisingly different from dried ones — milder, sweeter, and more fragrant. They also raise pigs there and cure their own salamis, procuittos, etc. During the pig tour, they gave us different cuts of meats to taste. One of the salumis they make is called the “headcheese” which contains essentially all of the left over meats. Unfortunately, mine had a patch of small black hairs sticking out. I ended up cuting out that part, though I felt bad for being such an American. It was just a little too unpalatable.

Aside from lounging around at home, stuffing ourselves with bread and salumis, cooking, and sleeping, we headed out to various towns and cities. On route to visiting one of the many hilltowns, we drove by the signature fields of uniformly grown sunflowers. It was so idyllic and perfectly Tuscan! I wish I got a decent picture of them.

While I do adore Italian food, I found myself intensely craving rice and noodle soups when we got back last night. After a week of no internet, I’ve also been sorting through hundreds of emails and catching up on my normal life. Apparently Michael Jackson and Billy Mays died…Who knew celebrities’ livelihood depended on me staying in the country??

On the topic of adulty-things like shopping for the apt, Mike and I have been considering investing some of our savings. It’d be good to invest our money is something very low-risk, just to make sure we’re not losing money to inflation. But the moment I open a wiki article on anything finance related, this little nasal voice pops up in my head and says “PPFFFFFFFF WHAT A BORING FUCKING LOAD OF BULLSHIT. Go eat some cake instead.”

(God I love cake)

Bonds, indexes, stocks, Roth IRA…I have no clue what any of it means. Which one is safest? And how do I invest in these things? Do I have to do it through something like Fidelity (which I presume requires extraneous fees)?

Yeah, this post is essentially soliciting you for advice. If you’re a woman, advise me on interior design ideas. If you’re a man, or an awesomer version of a regular woman (I’m looking at you, Koren and Linda), advise me on what and how to invest.

I graduated or something.

Cauliflower browned in olive oil, tossed with chives, red pepper flakes and cumin.

Sauteed kale, leek, ginger, and tofu mixed with a blend of red and white long-grain rice, topped with a fried egg.

(I apologize for the bad picture. My housemates were yelling at me to stop taking pictures and just start eating.)

First you stick your finger in your mouth while thinking “I really shouldn’t be putting my chemically exposed finger in my mouth” and try to use your nails to pick it out but of course don’t do jack shit and now there are people looking at you and wondering what you’re doing with your hand crammed in your mouth. Then instead you decide to use your tongue to fish it out and you can sort of feel it but there’s no way it’s budging and now you’re sucking in your cheeks making disturbing noises doing anything you can do dislodge that goddamn string of meat until finally you’re completely fed up with this shit and you convince yourself that you will forget about it.

But you never do.

I need to bring floss to my office.

P.S. In other news, I’ve moved into my new apartment!! It was an incredibly stressful weekend, and I am still scrambling to get things unpacked and looking nice for my parents arrival on Wednesday night. I promise to post pictures to share when things are more in order!

Actually, that’s a lie. I had that for dinner a week ago. Tonight is packing night, so we had take-out. I’m just starting yet another category of posts, since I have a tendency of taking pictures of my food.

On the note of categories, I’m finally considering Usman’s suggestion from a year and a half ago to add categories to my posts. What for? No idea. Easier navigation, perhaps? Surf away, kids.

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When all of the coins in my wallet add up to exactly the right change for my maple scone.