Background: On Saturday night, I left my pen, comb, and homework at Jeff’s house.
Saturday night text message from Jeff to Livia:
“I have your pen and comb and “locality” paper. Bring money to building 37. No police.”
Sunday night phone conversation:
Jeff: Hello?
Livia: I got your message. What are your terms?
J: Bring money.
L: I want to talk to them.
J: No.
L: No deal then. How do I know you havn’t killed them?
J: Fine, you can talk to them.
(intervening silence)
Okay?
L: I don’t hear anything. I think you killed them.
J: Fine, fine, you can talk to them.
(Sound of finger running along comb)
(silence)
Uhh… you know what I just did?
L: What?
J: I just broke one of the teeth off your comb.
L: What?????
J: That’s right, and for every day that you don’t pay, another tooth comes off!
L: You wouldn’t!
J: Just watch me.
L: You monster!!
On Monday, I went into his office and emptied my change purse onto his desk. In return, I got a pen, my homework, and a slightly battered comb. So if my hair is a little messy these days, you know why.
Popularity: 66%
The following post is the first of three posts that will be submitted to the audience as examples of why my life entertaining.
Some background on this email. I got sick a couple weeks ago, and my mom recommended that I buy “Airborne”, that nutritional supplement that’s been really popular. Meanwhile, my Dad went on a business trip to Hong Kong.
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From: Me
To: Mom and Dad
I just looked at Airborne, and it has th 100% daily value of vitamin A. That’s really dangerous, since they tell you to take it every three hours, and vitamin A is bad in overdose. This website confirms it.
http://www.wellnessletter.com/html/ds/dsZicam.php
I bought it and took one just for fun, but be careful not to overdose on it.
Livia
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From: Dad
To: Mom and Me
Livia,
I think your Mom wants to take over all King’s money. She bought a bottle of
Airbone for me and asked me to take a tablet every 3 hours when I sit in the
plane.
I HAVE HAD 7 FLIGHTS SO FAR. I am not sure I will be able to see you again
plus I had a terrible diarea in last 3 days.
I am at HK airport now.
Dady
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Hehehe, for those who are curious, my dad did make it back from Hong Kong in good health, although he’s still a bit suspicious of my mother.
Popularity: 60%