Weird dream

So, my wife is now 22 weeks pregnant.

A few nights ago I dreamt we were allowed, by some new medical advance, to have our baby taken out early so that we could have a little meet and greet, and then he’d have to be put back in to be born normally a few weeks later. When we got to hold him, he looked like a regular baby, with his eyes tightly closed and his face scrunched up.

Then, he started to relax, and opened one eye, then he cautiousy opened the other and looked around. My wife was holding him so that he faced me, and we both got excited that he was already looking around, way ahead of schedule. He then locked eyes with me and said “Hi, Jonathan!”

“You know my name?!?” I exclaimed.

“Yes, you told it to me earlier, you’re my dad,” he replied, as if it was obvious. He then
started to try to move around and crawl, but was too weak.

“Don’t worry,” I said, “your brain has been getting good exercise with us talking to you in your mom’s belly, but your muscles haven’t been able to, what with you all squeezed in there. Speaking of that, how do you like being stuck in there all curled up in a ball?”

The baby shrugged stoicly, as if to say, “What can you do?”

“How do you feel about the fact that you gotta go back in there in a little bit?” I then asked. He shot me a wide-eyed “Say what, now?” look. The dream ended.

Additional detail: the baby had red hair and a receding hairline with a widow’s peak. He looked sort of like a miniature David Caruso. What the hell does that mean?

4 thoughts on “Weird dream

  1. Mere

    Yes! I was wondering how long we’d have to wait for baby-related posting. Michele had told me about the dream, but I’m glad to have it properly posted.

    Reply
    1. Jonathan Post author

      Oh, there will be baby related posting. There is an entire file of opinionated rants on parenting shelved in my head which I heretofore haven’t been able to act upon due to not being a parent myself. Fortunately, the second this kid is out of the womb, I will consider that sufficient to grant me the moral authority to hold forth on all matters parenting. I have a draft post already in the works entitled “To spank or not to spank: It’s really up to the kid, not you.”

      Reply
  2. Alain

    Just curious if you’ve read ‘Freakonomics’ and what you think/thought of the penultimate chapter, the one on obsessive parenting.

    Alain

    Reply
    1. Jonathan Post author

      Sorry I forgot to reply to this. I’ve read it, and I fully plan on being an obsessive parent. I think obsessive parenting works. Maybe the kids aren’t happy, but they aren’t drags on society, either. However, I don’t think taking your kid to a bunch of afterschool crap is obsessive parenting. I think it’s lazy parenting. By obsessive I mean spending time with my kid, not spending time driving him so other people can.

      Reply

Leave a Reply to Mere Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *