Jonathan Birge

From the I Think I Just Threw Up in my Mouth a Little Bit Department:

Kerry and Brown save us from ourselves with our money

The senate just voted to go ahead with the $300B mortgage bailout. As usual, it was accompanied by much self-righteous chest thumping from our ever generous politicians:

“What better gift on independence could we give the American people than a sense that this, their Congress of the United States, can come together, despite political differences, and craft legislation to make a difference for our country,” Dodd said.

The government is using taxpayer money to bail out mostly greedy, dishonest people who lied on mortgage applications to buy houses they couldn’t afford (many of them second investment homes) and this is Dodd’s idea of celebrating the spirit of American independence? It’s all Orwellian DoubleSpeak to me. They’ve even “branded” this as “Protecting the American Dream.” Since when is the American Dream for responsible people to be forced to pay for the mistakes of real estate speculators?

This isn’t about helping the poor, who are an ignorable voting bloc. This is about posturing politicians buying votes with welfare for the middle class. They try to make it sound more respectable than it is by spinning it as a bailout of people who were “swindled” by loan originators, many of whom apparently didn’t fulfill their basic obligation to act both as loan officers and surrogate mothers to their customers.

I say this having narrowly escaped personal destruction at the hands of these evil corporate raiders myself. When I bought a house several years ago, I believe my loan officer not only had the temerity to take me at my word when I told them I had a job, but they never once stopped by the house to see how I was doing. It was almost like the whole thing was just business to them, and I got the distinct impression they weren’t willing to take any responsibility whatsoever for my decisions, even though I’d been in their office for almost a half hour, which pretty much made me family in my book.

If our corporate conglomerates do not take a personal interest in our well-being, then who will? Our friends? Do we expect our parents to teach us things like being responsible with money and eating in moderation? Fortunately, John Kerry is brave enough to fight for us by having lobbyists craft legislation that he will generously have his own staff submit to the Senate which will allocate other people’s money to this pressing problem.

Maybe this bailout is not so much worth getting upset over as a single event, but it is a depressing reminder of how low our culture has sunk, as reflected in the moronic demagoguery we put up with from our elected officials. It’s not so much that they are cynical enough to “solve” our mortgage crisis with such shortsighted foolishness, but that we, as a country, are stupid enough to buy it. The next time we get an asset bubble, how many of us are going to do the responsible thing? What kind of message does this send regarding the need for individual fiscal responsibility? Is this the psychology of a nation of people you’d expect to successfully compete in the world?

The Democrats have nothing to be proud of here. They are a long way from the days of FDR. Before, when the country hit a rough spot, progressive thinking dictated that we’d engage in tax-funded public works. Before, in times of war, we’d pinch pennies and buy savings bonds. Now, when we encounter a rough patch during a war, we send out $600 checks against borrowed money and squander tax money on private bailouts.

I think I’m going to cheer myself up by maxing out my credit card and buying a pet monkey. If bread and circus is how we’re going to play this, then I damn well want a fucking circus.